Life Is Difficult.You Don’t Have to Work It Out Alone.
One-on-one therapy in Bend and across Oregon. A private space to work through what is hard, at your pace, with someone who will not hand you a label.
What brings people here
Most people arrive with one of these. Often more than one at the same time.
- Something happened, and you have not been the same since
- You function well on the outside and feel unlike yourself on the inside
- The same pattern keeps showing up in your relationships, your work, your choices
- You are carrying something you have never said out loud
- You are asking bigger questions than you have answers for
- Nothing is obviously wrong, and something still is
You do not need to arrive with it already figured out. Not knowing is a legitimate place to start.
“Life is Difficult.”
M. Scott Peck said that in his book, The Road Less Traveled. When I read that I felt like someone was finally being real with me. Being real and authentic are important in my work as a therapist. What this means for the people I meet with is that you can relax because I am transparent. I don’t have a hidden agenda.
One of the most indelible images in our culture is of a person reclined on a sofa while the psychotherapist sits in a chair asking probing questions. You can recline on my sofa if you want but the kind of relationship I offer to my clients is very different than the Freudian psychotherapist of the past. In addition to the authenticity that I mentioned before, I also offer compassion. Whatever you are facing in life, while I may not have direct experience of, I am familiar with the pain that comes with being human.
Where we are together on the road to understanding
In individual therapy, I don’t categorize my clients according to “mental illness” but rather according to where we are together on the road to understanding.
Viktor Frankl believed that meaning was at the core of being human. I think at the core of being human is the desire to be loved and to love others. This is the most meaningful experience and truth there is in life. While you may not agree with me, that is the perspective I bring to therapy, and whether it is true is not as important as whether it helps the people I meet with. The truth is supposed to set you free, not just be true.
Being human is a vulnerable thing.
Humans have tried to make life as secure as possible. We have laws, governments, borders, guns, rights, constitutions, medicine, insurance, and many other things that are supposed to keep us safe. Perhaps these securities exist because life is inherently insecure and scary. Whatever the case may be there are better ways of dealing with the scariness we experience in life than ignoring it or bottling it up inside. There is actually an incredible amount of power that comes with being vulnerable.
Taking off the mask isn’t the first step
Taking off the mask, or putting down the sword that we use to hide behind, isn’t the first step; it’s actually oftentimes one of the last.
The first step in individual therapy, for some, is just admitting to yourself, or to me, that you feel scared. Once you acknowledge this and actually allow yourself to feel it ripple through your body, change becomes possible.
We need healthy boundaries in order to have healthy relationships.
Of course for some, this vulnerability is very familiar and it’s actually the opposite that they need. “Good fences make good neighbors”, said Robert Frost in his poem Mending Wall.
There is no golden mean or balance that can be applied to every person and relationship. While we are all human, we are also each a unique individual. We have our own unique fingerprints and DNA, so why wouldn’t we need unique boundaries and needs? I am a very thoughtful person not just with regard to human relationships, but also with regard to the underlying assumptions and beliefs that shape our culture, identity, and worldview.
I am curious how you see the world
While my own beliefs shape the lens through which I see the world and do individual therapy, I am constantly aware of my own perspective and curious to understand how you see the world.
It is impossible for anyone to remove their lens completely and put on someone else’s. But because we share in having human hearts we can connect in a much more profound way then our minds are capable.
Seeing me
Sessions are usually 55 minutes, weekly or every other week to start. How long therapy lasts depends on several factors; the most common is three to four months.
Sessions are available by telehealth anywhere in Oregon, and in person in Bend. Most major insurance plans are accepted — details on our Billing & Insurance page, or contact us and we’ll check your coverage.
If anxiety or depression is what brings you here, you can read more about anxiety therapy and depression counseling.
Common Questions About Individual Therapy
What happens in a first session?
We become introduced to each other, and get deeper into your life story and what brings you to counseling. There is nothing to prepare and no test to pass.
What if I do not know what is going on?
That is completely okay. In fact that is sometimes a good place to start. I do not categorize people according to a diagnosis, but according to where we are together on the road to understanding.
How long does therapy take?
It depends on several factors. The most common is three to four months. Some people stay longer, and some need less.
Do I need a diagnosis to be seen?
No. You do not need a diagnosis to be seen. If you are using insurance to pay, your insurer will require a diagnosis in order to be billed - that is their requirement for payment, not how I think about you or how we work together.
Do you offer virtual sessions?
Yes. Sessions are available by telehealth anywhere in Oregon, and in person as well.
